do i have to spell it out for you?

i'm 20. i didn't think that i would live to see this age. a new decade, a new beginning.

no one to kiss on new years. i'll never have anyone. i know who i want, but i'll never have him.

i'm becoming more withdrawn and cruel. i don't like who i'm becoming, but i don't know how to stop it.

picture-perfect point of view

i don't know where i fit in anymore. i don't act like a normal girl my age (and i most certainly don't look it), i'm withdrawn and shy and i get along better with kids that are 5 years younger than me. i feel so out of place in the world. i don't think i'll ever belong.

5 days of hell are over. i'm the best, and people suck majorly.

its time for us to take a chance

i am so jealous right now. back off you preppy skank, he's MINE. why am i jealous, i've never made a move on him... so if they go out, i can't say a word. oh fuck, i confused myself.

i'm so christmas-ed out right now.

you want a piece of me

i'll never be good enough.

i'm the only one out of all of my friends that isn't dancing, and i feel ridiculous just walking across the stage. i feel so stupid, i just want to cry over this whole thing.

i knew you wouldn't do that to us. thank you <3

i swear i'd burn this city down to show you the light

i need motivation. i guess failing and losing my scholarship isn't enough. i hate being like this.

you're my favorite santa =]

i have a new opportunity, and i'm gonna use it. i'm excited, i hope that i get chosen.

you would kill for this, just a little bit

all fixed. now i'm freaking out about everything else. i hate this time of year so much.

almost died the other day. i'm bruised but fine.

i don't know what to do anymore. its like nothing i do is good enough for anyone. why am i still doing this?

maybe i am just like you. or maybe no one is.

sometimes we take chances, sometimes we take pills

drama drama everywhere. its so stupid and pointless, and its driving me mad.

i'm not involved anymore. i'll just stay by myself and not talk, but that's okay.

i fixed it. i feel so relieved now, i've been worrying about it since may, and i finally fixed it.

2 more weeks and its over, and then 5 days of hell begins.

i'm the kind of kid that can't let anything go

i feel like i'll never be good enough for anyone.
no guy will ever like me, i'm so messed up.

i feel like i'm a horrible dancer.
why do i want to make a career out of it?
i'll never be good enough to dance professionally, i'm horrible.

its one of those nights where i listen to depressing music and cry.
i hate it.