i want your bad romance

159.8 this morning, but i blew it. i keep sabotaging myself, what is my problem. sososo close, yet so far.

stop confusing me, please. please stop. i can't take it anymore. this is frustrating beyond belief.

(i hate being a girl right now. period + this shit = easily depressed)

there's no doubt that you found out that you can't live without this

most of the bands that i saw today forge a connection to different times of my life dealing with different boys. a skylit drive brought me back to summer 2008, driving around with him, listening to them, especially "i'm not a thief, i'm a treasure hunter". every avenue and "a story to tell your friends" brought those feelings flooding back. simple plan was a throwback to 2002, and all the shit he put me through (and still occasionally does). as depressing as it was for me, i needed to hear those songs.

and i thought of you during the devil wears prada. as much as i love music, its days like this that i hate it.

its funny. you think i have it all, and i don't. i am incredibly uncomfortable in my body. i hate it so much. i really don't know who, or what i want in my life anymore. well, i know who i want, but i'll never have him. i'll be alone forever, and i really don't want to be.

see you space cowboy

please stop being so perfect.

i'm so confused, its not even funny.

7lbs away from my lowest weight at this height, i can't get out of the 160s. stuck at 163/164, this is driving me nuts. soclosetoit