in my head i'm treading water but my arms just collapse

sometimes i wonder if i should just give up. everything is testing me, and i’m over it. i’m miserable and lonely, and i can’t fix this. i can’t fix anything. why do i even bother developing these one-sided crushes. i never act on them, i always act like they will notice me, and decide they like me, like we’re children. no one will ever decide to date me. i’m an adult with zero relationship experience, no one wants to deal with that at this point in our lives. i’m going to be alone forever. i don’t know why i even bother anymore.

i'm lower than the dirt with no roots left to find

i’ve been fighting with myself a lot lately. i don’t know what i want anymore. i feel like i’m over exaggerating my personality, and for what? to get someone’s attention, when i know they have zero interest in me. i should just give up. 

we're temporary and you're moving further out of sight

i’m just over everything. i don’t know what to do anymore, or how to move forward with my life. i just feel stuck. same routine - wake up, work 14 hours, eat, sleep. i work so much because i figure what else will i do with my time. i have so few responsibilities outside of work, it’s not like i have a family or ever have plans after. i barely leave my house, and i don’t make plans with people. i feel like i have nothing in common with my friends anymore. they’re all married, some have children, and i’m just by myself. i just feel useless, like i’m taking up space. 

we set a fire at both ends with our best lines and best intentions

grasping at straws here, trying to read between the lines. i'm so fucking desperate, it’s not even funny. i should just give up.