bury me alive cause i won't give up without a fight

i should be so happy. i now have a wonderful job, working in the field that i love. but i have been so unhappy. i began to push away everyone that i love, including the ones that need me the most.

unanswered texts and calls. i want to be untraceable. i just want to run away and start over. another country, a new life.

i wish i could figure out why i feel like this. i think the root is everyone is happily married or taken, having children, moving on with their lives, and i'm alone. i feel pathetic, i'm 25, i shouldn't feel like this. the people that i push away urge me to go and meet people, sign up for online dating, but i'm terrified. what am i going to tell someone- i'm 25, never been kissed, never been on a date? i feel pathetic and disgusting. i feel so lost.

i'm just dreaming of tearing you apart

i can't believe that fall out boy is back. i simply can't. after attending their last show at msg, i never thought that i would see them live, and hear new music. now, i just can't get enough. they always come back when i'm going through a weird time in my life. when i first heard them, i was 15 and suicidal, if it wasn't for them, i probably wouldn't be here. now? 25 and doing things that i never thought possible, all thanks to them. i cannot wait to hear save rock and roll, and to support them, and maybe even work with them in the future.

i can't believe that you're not there anymore. we were talking one night, i come back 3 days later, and you're fired. you're a kind and great person, i don't believe that you had anything to do with that. all i know is that work is a darker place without you.

it is funny how much things can change. this time 3 years ago, i had no idea what i was going to do with my life. now, i am interning at an amazing company, and getting myself into the industry that i will be working in. courage, passion, hard work.