i love you so much that it hurts my head

why. why. why. i feel like maybe if i see you one more time, i'll know what's going on. with me. with you. with us. what we never had, and what we could have. i haven't seen you in years, why do i feel like this again? goddammit i hate you sometimes.

i'll let the bad parts in, the bad parts in.

i'll ask you if the rain still makes you smile

what do you want from me? maybe i'm reading too much into this. this is just innocent communication, and i'm just desperate. maybe i still hope that you feel the way i feel about you, 10 years later. hopelessly hopeful.

i hate this unwanted attention. leave me alone, please.

forget the things we swore we meant

you have no idea what damage that innocent compliment may have done. fucked up eating last week, starvation this week, as usual. i keep repeating what you said to me in my head over and over again- "keep it up". you were being kind, and oh you have no idea what you have done. overtheedgeigobutnotwithyou

awkwardness. too young. stop it. i'm far too old for you. please, go for her instead, she thinks you're cute too.

touch me again, i'll hurt you. straight or gay, i don't like being touched by others. and you're not even my type dear, so stop. you're just succeeding in making a lot of people uncomfortable.

she's been waiting for the moment she could set the sun on fire

can't get below 158. i'll dip into the 157 range for a day, and its up by the end of the day. updownupdownupdown this will kill me eventually. 140 by july, 120 by october?

opportunities are presenting themselves left and right, i hope this turns out well.

i saw you look me up and down the other day. i know you have a girlfriend, stop with the mixed signals. kthnx.

i kind of think you're adorable, but you're so young (but legal). fuck. you can't even get into a bar. and i think you're flirting with me too. stop. toofuckingyoung

literary break- read the hunger games trilogy in 3 days. i thought the books were phenomenal, excellent storyline with great characters.

he's been on my mind a lot, for the first time in years. i even dreamed about him too, so weird. i haven't seen him in almost 10 years, why am i thinking about him now? the only contact we have is the occasional facebook like.