confidants but never friends; were we ever friends?

this loneliness is consuming me. every waking moment i feel worse and worse. i don’t feel accomplished at all. just seeing people’s christmas decorations is enough to start this feeling. i hate being by myself, this isn’t even my own place. i can’t even decorate. maybe if i could at least do that, i would feel better, but i can’t. instead i drown my sorrows in food and shopping. i just need to stay off of social media, but i can’t. i need to be on it for work, but it just makes me feel worse.

why the fuck am i always attracted to fucking geminis? why why why.