i've seen love die way too many times

r broke up with a, she's miserable now. i don't know what to say to her because i've never been in a relationship, so i'm just trying to help her as much as i can. but she started drinking, i'm worried.

didn't go to the concert today because i have a stomach thing, and i may not go to dance if i still feel like shit.

rocky horror was the shit, it was fucking amazing, i loved it.

my chem listening party was cool, the cd is the best, but frank didn't come because no one really stayed to meet him except for me, l, and her friend. after that i went out with e and m, we went to a lounge, saw a cover band full of hot guys, ran into mk and chilled with him, it was a good night.

dexter is my new favorite show. for some reason i can really identify with dexter, always pretending to be something i'm not, pretending to smile, why can i identify with a serial killer?

get back, back, back to the disaster, my hearts beating faster

m is 18, i've known her since she was 3 because of dance, its amazing how fast we all "grew up".

i tripped over my laptop's power cord before, and now its acting funny. damnit.

maybe shopping in jersey tomorrow, yay.

and ignore what you saw on "true life: i'm a staten island girl", we're not all like that.

i thought i had something worth saying, but i don't.

mcr show on tuesday, rocky horror picture show on saturday night, and mcr listening party on friday, and somewhere between all that i'm going to see nightmare before christmas 3-d, it looks to be a good weekend.

listen to my voice it's my disguise

its so fucking cold out, and its raining too.

went to the mall, intending to pre-order the new mcr cd, and as i was walking, i saw v1. i looked at the floor and he didn't see me and i kept on walking. i wanted to start grand jetéing throughout the mall because i was so happy to see him. so after pre-ordering, i walked around the mall trying to find out where he works, and also if mk was working (i wanted to bother him, lol). its official- i'm a stalker.

i also passed my spanish test- my professor looked over my exam and she had this look of utter joy upon her face and she told me i definitley got a good grade. but i don't know about theater history, i'm worried about it. but as long as i pass it, i'm happy.

times square can't shine as bright as you

i'm a mess. i'm so scared and lonely. i'm full of dreams and jumbled thoughts, and i don't know what to do with either of them.

i think i should go to sleep before i make any more posts.

"oh, its what you do to me." (i fucking love you, do you love me?)

i'm not your star

i fucking love this song, its been one of my favorites since i was 15/16. it just means so much to me, and just describes so much.

"did you know i miss you? i miss you."

i'm going to fail this godamn midterm. and this spanish test.

help me, i'm choking on the inside

i wish i was happy. i wish i was thin- not skeletal (although that would be ideal), just at a healthy weight (120-130 for my height). i wish i was doing better in school. i wish he liked me, that he had a myspace so i could stalk him, that i know what to say to him. i wish i could talk to people about something other than dance, that i don't feel so awkward and out of place. i wish i had friends that don't treat me like shit (wait, i take part of that back- i wish i had more than 4 friends that don't treat me like shit).

the monsters are all missing and the nightmares can't be found

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	High
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	High
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	High

Your sin has been measured. You have committed many sins, but Pride is the mortal sin that has done you in. Just below, discover your full sinful breakdown and learn what it is about you that codemns you to hell.
Discover Your Sins - Click Here

that was fun, its pretty accurate.

i've taken this one before, and i just took it now, for fun, and, well, my results are interesting to say the least. although it keeps on sending me to the 5th level of hell, i guess i fit in well there, lol.

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Fifth Level of Hell!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Low
Level 2 (Lustful)	High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	High
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Moderate
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	Very High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Moderate
Level 7 (Violent)	Very High
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	Very High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test

the last time i took it, most of those weren't very high, i think only 5 and 7 were very high. my how i've changed.

i found an old xanga entry when i was looking for my old test results, its over a year old and i still know what it refers to; "i can't, i shouldn't, i might, i will."- cutting.

and we've got everybody singing

and i think what i just wrote is going over my head
i'm stealing lines from myself
and what i said was never said
it's just a lyrical lie
made up in my mind
-cute is what we aim for

my heart, it beats, beats for only you

i think i'm falling for him, hard. maybe that survey was wrong. maybe it will work out. i'm going to his job soon so i can "shop".

i remember when i said i loved you, now i take it back

i don't know who i am, or what i have become.

all hail the heartbreaker

i blame mk for getting me into the spill canvas, they're awesome.

i hate the idea that someone can stalk every move that i can make by just having my ip address.

almost choked on an m&m when i saw v1 walk past my history class yesterday. i'm seriously having the week from hell.

i fucking love this weather.

i hate keeping things in, i want this to be as anonymous as possible, but now i have to effing censor myself because people could read this. maybe i'll make a new one, i dunno.