bury me alive cause i won't give up without a fight

i should be so happy. i now have a wonderful job, working in the field that i love. but i have been so unhappy. i began to push away everyone that i love, including the ones that need me the most.

unanswered texts and calls. i want to be untraceable. i just want to run away and start over. another country, a new life.

i wish i could figure out why i feel like this. i think the root is everyone is happily married or taken, having children, moving on with their lives, and i'm alone. i feel pathetic, i'm 25, i shouldn't feel like this. the people that i push away urge me to go and meet people, sign up for online dating, but i'm terrified. what am i going to tell someone- i'm 25, never been kissed, never been on a date? i feel pathetic and disgusting. i feel so lost.