& the worst part is, before it gets any better, we're headed for a cliff

there are some things that i can't even post here, without fear of being discovered.

things are worse. i want to literally kill someone...if i see her in person i may just flip out on her. how dare she...if she supposedly cares about me then why would she do that?

"& in the free fall i will realize i'm better off when i hit the bottom"

picking up pieces of her clumsy little heart

bamboozle. ugh. usually that is the weekend that i live for, but it kinda sucked this year. by myself one day, which blew. saw paramore alone and cried during "the only exception" and lost my voice during their set. also cried during something corporate, fucking "konstantine" and it's beautiful words and horrible painful memories for me. but i saw my soco, after being a fan for 8 years, and i couldn't be happier.

day 2 was with friends. i pretty much went just for every avenue but i fell in love with fun and polar bear club. ea was beyond amazing, such a huge crowd. lost my voice from screaming the words during their set, i wanted to tell dave how much ea means to me, but i chickened out. he is also extremely attractive, plays guitar and piano- i think i'm in love. and he's a capricorn like me (good compatibility). here is to hoping that their summer tour brings me good things.

i am glad that i went this year, but i doubt i'll be going next year- unless it's someone amazing like no doubt.

home is still upside down. i just want my family back. i want my mom to stop flipping out, i want my brother to stop screaming at me, and i want to stop crying at every single show.