things are shaping up to be pretty odd

"that green gentleman (things have changed)" has been stuck in my head since saturday. the chorus just applies itself so well to my current situation that i keep on singing it.

my doctor is making me take a diet pill. i feel like i've failed myself, i lost 25lbs 2 years ago on my own, and then gained it right back. i know i can do it, but my body just won't. i feel like a fake, like i won't be earning the loss. however i keep on thinking of how hot i'll look at the next show when i'm chilling with the band, and that will be awesome.

we're getting closer, and i'm so happy. i love that you trust me so much to tell me these things about you guys. for all you know, i could be one of those girls that shittalks all over the web, but i'm not, and i'm so glad that you trust me. i can't wait until we chill this weekend.

my brain voice is starting to scare me =/

we are broken.

oh fuck.

things have changed for me, but that's okay

ohlordy. where do i begin? beatboxing. new songs. disney and boybands. brain voice. parenthesi. guitar picks. barricade for the disco. dancers on the next tour, lol. dancing on the barricade like i've never danced before. singing and meaning every word.

if you have something to say, say it to my face. i would've moved if you didn't make such a big deal over it. grow up and act your age. and don't talk about me, and then be my best friend 5 minutes later, i'm not that naive.

sick night with some amazing girls. i'm so glad that i finally realized who my real friends are. l, c, and k, i love you guys. thank you for making it bearable, despite all of the drama and stupid people that like to intrude on private conversations.

i wish things would go back to the way they were. no drama, no fighting, just a bunch of kids going to shows together and having a great time. and it was all for nothing, we were all in the front anyway, but i wish there wasn't any drama.

when the moon fell in love with the sun

my mind is going a mile a minute, that information got me so angry. this chick doesn't deserve the shit that's spoken about her. she's such an amazing, sweet, kind person, and they're still together. i'll do anything for my friends, you fuck with them, you fuck with me. so leave her alone before i have to smack someone.

hey, its not all about you. get a life outside of the internet, k, thnx.

i danced in the snow before and i felt so free and happy.

if you wanna play it like a game, well come on, come on, let's play

these words are my weapons. i write instead of fight, its the only way to get anyone to listen to me. i hide behind this screen, taking full advantage of anonymity, but one day its going to backfire on me.

wednesday= amazing, but saturday shall be even better. sidestage? oh yes.

But repetition ends in failure

old feelings have recently resurfaced because of you. i attempt to flirt, but i don't think i'm doing it right. please like me, please please please. i need someone so badly.

your fave piercing orly? well bby, your newest one is one of my faves.

WEDNESDAY. bitch, if you lay a finger on him, i swear i'll push you into 7th avenue.

don't be so hard on yourself

so this week i:
hung out with a band
got sang to
ruined my $150 boots
made plans to make someone jealous
saw my childhood idols

its been a good week.

i still can't believe that i saw the spice girls. they put on one of the best live shows i've ever seen. they sounded perfect, they actually sang! it was hit, after hit, after hit, and they played "the lady is a vamp", which is one of my favorite songs. i idolized them when i was a child, and to see them onstage was just so surreal. i choreographed my first dance ever to "spice up your life", so they had an influence on my style and musicality.

you stupid lying bitch. stop trying to get shit from people, we've all figured out your little game and refuse to play along with it. i can't wait for wednesday, you'll get what you deserve.

we came alone and we left together

i hate the scene. its no longer about the music, its about the extensions, skinny jeans, and bright colors. everyone competes to be the first to hear about the latest trend, and bashes those that were there before them. its a ridiculous competition. i don't want scene points, i want a good show with good friends.

don't even get me started on the hair. some people can pull off "scene" hair, but most can't.

and i'm not saying that i don't care about fashion, i just bought a very "scene" top that i plan on wearing tonight. but people need to stop caring so much about their ugly, mismatching outfits, and more about the music.

i'm over you now, i'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head

a friend of mine died the other night. i'm still in shock, i knew her for 9 years. she helped me get through a hard time in junior high, and she was a great friend. i don't think i can handle going to her wake, i can't look at her in that casket. its so hard to believe that i won't run into her at her job or talk to her on myspace. 20 is way too early to be gone. i still can't process it, i opened up the paper and screamed when i saw her beautiful face. its just... like not going through. i have so many memories of just being silly with her and enjoying life. i still can't believe it... i just can't.