i'm over you now, i'm at home in the clouds, towering over your head

a friend of mine died the other night. i'm still in shock, i knew her for 9 years. she helped me get through a hard time in junior high, and she was a great friend. i don't think i can handle going to her wake, i can't look at her in that casket. its so hard to believe that i won't run into her at her job or talk to her on myspace. 20 is way too early to be gone. i still can't process it, i opened up the paper and screamed when i saw her beautiful face. its just... like not going through. i have so many memories of just being silly with her and enjoying life. i still can't believe it... i just can't.