Tuesday, August 19, 2008

the little things, little things made me who i am today

i'm on the cusp of my 4th year of college. its hard to believe i've come this far, and lived this long.

starting to have thoughts of self-infliction again. putting a knife under my skin and slicing; skinning myself alive. i'm so fucked up.

i'm becoming disgusted by food. my thoughts are "that looks like a bug" or whatever, and its keeping me from eating. i wish i could look inside my head to see what exactly is going on in there.

sometimes i wish there was a way to view my dreams after i have them. i hate remembering fragments and trying to piece them together.

good charlotte last tuesday made my life. i've been a fan for over 7 years, and i don't think i've been that emotional at a show. i screamed, i sang, and i cried, it was amazing. especially because i was on the barricade.

i want to go back to that gorgeous place so badly. i keep on thinking of how pretty and peaceful it was, and how the water was the same color blue as the sky, and there was nothing in the horizon except for the ocean.

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