thank god this semester is finally over. this was the first time that i actually began to doubt myself as a student. i was told by 2 professors that i should drop their courses, but i stuck through it. i don't know if that was a good, or bad decision. i'll find out when i get my grades, but i hope i made the right choices. i have never felt so hopeless and ready to give up, i spent too many days crying over these classes and their ridiculous assignments.
this time next year, i'll be preparing for my graduation. and then what? i don't really want to teach, but it is my major. i feel like i'm not creative enough to come up with lessons and activities each day, and i don't think that i'm capable of teaching. i want to spend my days dancing, and marry that boy, who has enough money to support me so i no longer have to worry about having a real job. i can dream, can't i?
i feel like i need to pull my head out of the clouds, and realize what i need to do with my life. enough fucking around, did i choose a major that i want, or did i make the wrong decision? i need to open my eyes and see my options with guys, i feel like i'm shutting myself in, and may not see what could be right in front of me.
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