you took me hostage and made your demands

i need to pick up a pen and write again, i have so much bottled up inside that i need to let out. this helps so much, but i miss writing fiction so much, and i feel like maybe if i start writing it again, i'll feel better. heartache, tears, loneliness, its all there, and i need to let it out before i break again. i will not get to the way i was 4 years ago, when my "perfect" world was changed and i went through a breakdown because i was trying to be strong for someone, when i just couldn't. i'll never forget seeing the indentations of a blade pressed into her arms, and then sobbing into her voicemail that night... innocence was lost and insanity was gained.