so paint it black and take it back, let's shout it loud and clear

i can't believe i'm going to be 19 in a little over a month. december 29th. another year closer to my death. i'm going to be a 19-year-old virgin with no experience with guys, isn't that wonderful? god, i sound so fucking bitter. its so scary to get old, i still wish i could be 5 years old again, when my biggest worry was "do barbie's shoes match?" not "how can i pass this class with a decent grade?". how did we let ourselves get like this? obsessing over things like grades, designer clothes, boys, cars, silly drama. i love those nights where we just hang out and talk, play cards, set things on fire, and ocassionally drink (although i don't think that me+fire+alcohol would be a very good combination), its like we're without a care in the world. then someone gets sick and almost sets themselves on fire, or drama occurs and then everything goes back to "normal".